In the past couple of posts we have talked about spiritual bypassing and trading wishful/imagined change for the more gritty variety–real inner change. I think it needs to be said here that when we are talking about change we are not talking about becoming someone else, changing all your spots or bending yourself into a pretzel to “fit in”, be accepted, loved etc. What we are talking about is letting go of hurts, wounds and pain that blocks the free expression of your unique self in the world. This is more about an ease of being that comes from releasing or healing than about changing who you are in any fundamental way.
I believe that one of the reasons we avoid confronting our pain is that we simply don’t know how to let energy move through our body without clamping down around it (resistance), causing more pain and embedding our patterns deeper. Then there are beliefs about all of it from ” I’m afraid if I open that door I’ll go crazy/never stop crying” (not actually true for 99.9% of people-I’m sure there is someone somewhere who began crying and never stopped!), to “That happened a long time ago, it’s over.” (neglects the issue of there being no time in the unconscious). There are many other reasons used and believed— but they generally have little Truth to them and they all essentially block cleaning out our inner closets and becoming free.
So that all being said, what are we to do?
In my experience, learning how to center and ground one’s energy are two fundamental skills that start the process of learning to allow the energy of emotion to move freely through the body-mind. This ability allows the negative energy to be released and positive energy to build and stabilize our core of being. Letting go is a skill we need generally in our lives not just for releasing the accumulated debris of old experiences. Effective letting go is not done from the intellect…it is done from a deeper emotional/energetic/body centered level. It is a process and a skill to be learned and practiced. The latter does not mean it needs to be a struggle or result in a life long focus on pain and negativity…quite the opposite–it leads to being able to live from free and clear inner space that allows more REAL joy and happiness to flow through and become a new center of being.