Conflict Management and Shifting Perspective
A useful first step to conflict management is developing an attitude of acceptance. An acceptance of the way things ARE at the moment enables you to move beyond patterns of resistance and bring peace to your heart. This can be a major stress reduction technique as well as a useful means of moving toward resolution of problems! As we let go of inner conflict, a need to be right, or prove ourselves doors to solutions can appear.
Acceptance does not mean that something or someone is right or wrong. Acceptance is acknowledging the reality of things just the way they are now. It’s just allowing them to be, without judgment. Judgments tear at our energy and do us much more harm than the person, place or thing that we are judging. Being able to be in present time without resistance or judgment allows free and clear space for us to release, resolve and reboot. It unblocks energy to be able to move forward in whatever way is appropriate for the situation.
Shifting Perspective and Acceptance Can Open Up New Solutions for Conflict Management
Anything can be viewed from many perspectives with willingness and some degree of flexibility. Sometimes it is easier to change your perspective in order to accept a situation from a state of peace rather than staying in a state of anger, fear, frustration, guilt or any other low vibration or emotion. It’s easy to get stuck in our view of a situation and stay with it persistently out of lack of awareness of what we are doing, habit or of a need to be right.
The next time you find yourself pushing against something, complaining, blaming or resisting, try to accept the situation as is. Move yourself into a FEELING state, if necessary: imagine what it would feel like to be in a place of acceptance. As you do so, watch your resistance melt away. Note how you feel as a result.
If it is hard to move into acceptance with using imagination, you may want to use something like a meridian tapping method (EFT) to release the angst that can then allow you to move to acceptance.
Here are some other ways to practice shifting your perspective:
- Decide (choose) that it’s OK not to be right. Decide that it doesn’t matter in the larger scheme of things. Deciding that it’s OK to “not be right” does not mean that you are wrong. It simply means that you let go. Practice simply understanding that everyone has their opinion based on their experience, life circumstances and level of development. Their opinion likely has nothing to do with you and is more about their needs and the way they have learned to survive in their world.
- If this is too hard, back up and look at what is not allowing you to shift, and use a method like tapping to help you remove the obstacle.
- Try on the other person’s perspective. Look at the situation from their point of view. What feels different? Can you feel how they might feel? You may still not agree with them but have more awareness of their fears, and needs.
- Practice feeling what it would be like to let go of all judgments: good, bad, right, wrong. What is left? What does your inner and outer space feel like?
- Practice doing nothing in response to triggers. Just be. How do you feel?
- Practice feelings of letting go to allow the energy and nervous systems to create pathways for this to happen. This is very important as ultimately we need the neural pathways that allow us to achieve any state. Simple choice and will power are not great long term approaches.
Practice with situations and feelings that are not really intense to start. Also, practicing when you are not in the midst of something helps create and strengthen the pathways so they are there when you REALLY need them!
- Meditation helps enormously with perspective. It helps us to remain centered , calm and present. It helps to move us beyond old beliefs that can cloud our vision and keep us in fight/flight mode when differences arise. A heart based type of meditation allows us to stay with ourselves but still have an openness to cooperation and resolving issues.