Forgiveness is a misunderstood process!
It has been said that carrying anger, rage or hostility toward another is like drinking poison and hoping the other will die! One reason it is hard to let go and forgive is that it can feel as if forgiveness is condoning hurtful behavior. It is not—it is really about freeing ourselves from carrying around burdens that weigh us down.
Another misconception is that we can think our way to forgiveness. Thought provides a first step—to intellectually understand what has occurred, but we must engage our emotional energy as well. Why? Because that is the place where all our ‘meaningful” life experience is stored. By engaging the emotions we can access the actual energies that are blocked or distorted, release them, and open up more space for freedom, inner peace and joy to flow.
We are often much better at forgiving others than we are ourselves but growth on our human/spiritual path requires that we must. Patience is required as forgiveness is a process and there may be several layers to move through before arriving at the end point where we claim the full freedom of forgiveness.
Forgiveness begins with the intention to forgive, AND it is a practice. Other tools that help erase the intense feelings can be helpful before you attempt to embrace forgiveness. There are many posts on this site that speak about energetic methods of healing and letting go.
In the meantime here are three affirmations that can help you trigger new feelings that will help you on your journey to freedom.
I can release my need for perfection, one imperfect moment at a time.
Today I am open and willing to notice and forgive myself for at least one mistake honestly!
When negative emotions are triggered, I will acknowledge them and use my breath to release them