How You Can Dissolve Hidden Obstacles to Change

The primary root of hidden obstacles to change is unconscious beliefs.

Beliefs about ourselves, life, relationships, time, money, love, creativity and spirituality originate from many sources and are, (1) accepted as truth, (2) usually formed early in life and tend to be unconscious, (3) create feelings and thoughts that reinforce the original belief. If these beliefs are ones of strength, confidence, optimism and hope, then they may serve us well. However many of us have beliefs that do not serve us well. The result is a vicious cycle that may include inner turmoil, conflict and unhappiness.

Through becoming aware of mistaken beliefs and their associated difficulties we can free ourselves from a lot of stress, improve our health and develop greater happiness, peace and fulfillment. We form a large portion of our core beliefs early in life before we have a capacity for discernment. Throughout our lives events happen, we are impacted by them, and naturally have thoughts and feelings as a result. These thoughts and feelings coalesce into beliefs. We register these mind sets, often out of full conscious awareness, they then go on automatic and influence our lives. We remain unaware usually until some pressure is brought to bear in an important area of our lives and we are called upon to explore our inner world.

Step 1: Become Aware of your Beliefs
Pay attention to the chatter of your mind. You may find that there is a lot going on that is be at odds with what you truly would like to have or believe about yourself and the world. Radical self honesty is not easy but it is freeing in the long run. Begin noticing what is going on in your mind and jot down some notes in a journal.

• Some common mistaken beliefs that are often underneath negative self-talk:

I’m not acceptable  I’m not lovable   I don’t deserve to be loved   I’m not wanted   I can’t find my place in the world   Nothing ever works for me Life is a struggle   I will never succeed   I can’t express myself   Nobody understands me   It’s not safe to trust   I am betrayed by life

I am insignificant  I’m not capable   There’s no hope for me   I don’t deserve to love   I am stupid   I cannot be myself I am weak and have no defenses   I struggle to live   Life is painful   I deserve to be deprived   I deserve to be abandoned   I am not good enough

 

 

Step 2: Become Aware of Your Patterns In Relationships
Another difficulty we have with mistaken beliefs is problem patterns in relationships.  These develop in childhood. We all learn methods to gain approval, love, support, attention, or recognition. These dynamics are a means of getting or giving energy. A classic example is that of a child triggering negative attention. If parents are not able to give love in a positive way, a child instinctually finds the means to get the attention (energy) to flow his/her way.

This creates negative patterns within the relationship as well as within the individual. These patterns become generalized and get transferred to other relationships. A person may have intellectual knowledge about their dysfunctional family but not really understand how their patterns of filling emotional needs has become a default program that operates automatically, especially when under stress.

View your life as a movie. This can be helpful in gaining a bit of perspective in order to uncover what may be in the unconscious.
See yourself as a young child. What beliefs do you think that child formed about:

• getting attention
• receiving love
• gaining approval
• having support
• obtaining recognition

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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