Do You Make This Simple Relationship Mistake?

Any holiday or special occasion can bring up feelings of grief or loss especially in the first year after such an event. So as Valentine’s Day comes nearer it may be well to think about how you can take care of yourself if you have had a loss over the past year or two.

Recently I was talking with a friend about her experience with grief and loss and she expressed that she felt she should be further along on her path of recovery. She is six weeks past a major loss after a grueling year of care-taking, medical emergencies and life adjustments. Can you relate to that belief? I can !!

How tempting…and human…to think that we can hit the ground running after a time of grief, trauma or major life adjustments. We want to get on with it. We want to move past the intensity, the deep aching sadness, hurt, confusion and doubt. It is hard to be with all the feelings, the voices in our heads and the hurt in our heart. However this is the time to lie fallow, to give ourselves time to process and digest our experience.

Every aspect of our energy –every part of our body, mind and spirit is affected by trauma, loss and grief no matter how well we have managed through it. We need to have time to process emotions but also time to simply rest in the quiet, to give space for the silence that lies behind difficult emotions to emerge. It is deeply healing to allow that silence to envelope us in its healing arms. This is what allows our energy to return. It is what allows wisdom to bubble up from a profoundly authentic place inside. This is how we help ourselves heal, find meaning and integrate experience.

Patience is needed to move with the natural rhythms of life especially with the troublesome times. Self compassion is necessary to let yourself be where you are. Patience and self compassion are your allies through transition times. A new life needs to be birthed gently, in its own time and with a consciousness that is full of understanding not hurried movement.

Time, space and healing attention are necessary luxuries when we are at such a stage on our life journey. There are many gifts to be had if we become present and mindful to our experience…a profound inner connection with our authentic self and the rejuvenating flow of spiritual energy are two such gifts that can stabilize our minds and hearts…for the now and for the future.
In addition, there is another gift inherent in this process and that is the capacity to truly love again…openly and freely with no residue from the past to obscure our judgment, perception or capacity to be fully present to new love.

Related articles

• 7 Ways Reiki Supports Overcoming Grief (thereikimuse.com)