Self Care Skill #1: Broadening Perspective
We have all heard the idea that what irritates us in others is something that we embody. I suspect there is some truth in that , but my experience suggests that there’s a viewpoint that offers a broader perspective. For instance, if you encounter a bully the issue may not be that you hold bullying tendencies inside. It may be that you have a need to grow in your own power, to be able to speak up or crate healthy boundaries. I think that to take what you see in front of you too literally as to what the learning may be can lead off track rather than to a place of growth.
Self Care Skill #2: Self Inquiry
When you find yourself irritated by others, look inside and explore what feelings were triggered. Sit quietly and allow whatever feelings are there to drift to the surface without judgement. Having a notebook handy where you can record your findings is helpful.
Self Care Skill #3: Identifying Needs
Once you are aware of the emotion, reflect on what if anything needs to be done. You may need to write a letter you don’t send, have a conversation with someone, take an action. Sometimes all that is needed is a release of the pent up feelings from your psyche.
What is the core issue behind this emotion? This is something that can be simple or something that can require more attention.
You can also try releasing the feelings first and then asking for the core issue to come to the forefront of your mind. Each person operates differently and getting to know your inner process is as much a part of expanding consciousness and self knowledge as learning skills.
Self Care Skill #4: Effective Affirmation
As you discover the core issue you can craft an affirmation that fits the situation. No matter what the circumstances an affirmation that focuses on self acceptance, non judgement and self love always works!
E.G. I lovingly allow feelings of internal support to flow through me today. Reminder….the words are pointers only. The important part is to feel the feeling and allow it to take up resonance within you.