Five Steps to Befriending Your Self

It took me a lot of years to learn that…We spend so much time obsessing about relationships of all kinds and often overlook the relationship that is really at the foundation of all the others. It in fact fundamentally determines the quality of all others.

Here are some things that I have learned that can be helpful to shaping a new foundation for healthier, happier, and balanced relationships.

“Being a friend to your SELF is no mere metaphor or purely sentimental idea. It is the basis of all relationships, because it is a fundamental recognition of soul.”

Thomas Moore

1. Listen to how you speak to your self

Let go of self bashing, become aware of the voices in your head—the overt and the subtle ones. Commit to shifting to kinder gentler thoughts. Stop self abuse! Treat your self with the same kindness you would show to someone you love.

Negative self talk triggers the fight flight response sending a cascade of stress chemistry through your bodymind. Practicing more positive inner dialogue helps to send better chemistry your way!

2. Make time for real self care (VS self indulgence).

Begin by discerning what is self indulgent and what is truly caring for yourself. What do you need in terms of basic care? How can you begin to make time for these basic needs to build a strong foundation so you can expand in freedom and expression of your best self?

3. Listen more deeply to your true voice and your real needs

How can you give yourself time and space to listen deeply and acquaint yourself with the real you?

4. Be compassionate with yourself, you are a work in progress

You are continually learning, growing and developing as a human being whether you are conscious of it or not. Become more conscious and aware can smooth your journey. You can only be where you are at any given moment in time€”mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Start from where you are and be tolerant and patient with your learning curve. Actively work at embracing the feeling of ease with yourself rather than having it remain an “idle” thought.

5. Make time for enlivening your soul

What brings you alive? What nourishes you at a deep level? Can you commit to providing time and space to find out and then allowing that to come into your life?