Self Care Begins with our Relationship with Ourselves
We spend so much time obsessing about relationships of all kinds and often overlook the relationship that is really at the foundation of all others, the one we have with ourselves.
“Being a friend to your SELF is no mere metaphor or purely sentimental idea. It is the basis of all relationships, because it is a fundamental recognition of soul.” Thomas Moore
Here are some things that can be helpful to shaping a new foundation for healthier, happier, and balanced relationships with yourself and others.
- Listen to how you speak to your self
Become aware of the voices in your head—the overt and the subtle ones. Let go of self bashing, Commit to shifting to kinder gentler self talk. Stop self abuse! Treat your self with the same kindness you would show to someone you love.
Negative self talk triggers the fight flight response sending a cascade of stress chemistry through your bodymind. Practicing more positive inner dialogue helps to send better chemistry your way!
2. Make time for real self care (VS self indulgence).
What is self indulgent and what is truly caring for yourself? What do you need in terms of basic care (down time, exercise, good food, time for fun and play, connecting with friends and family)? How can you begin to make time for these basic needs to build a strong foundation so you can expand in freedom and expression of your best self?
3. Listen more deeply to your true voice and your real needs
How can you give yourself time and space to listen deeply and acquaint yourself with the real you? Deep relaxation and meditation are good for our health but they also create space for you to open to the you beyond roles and labels. Having an active “inner world” practice builds a feeling of ease that nourishes all aspects of yourself.
4. Be compassionate with yourself, you are a work in progress
We are continually learning, growing and developing as a human being whether we are conscious of it or not. Becoming more conscious and aware of this can smooth some of the bumpy spots on the road of life. We can only be where we are at any given moment in time, mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. We need to start from where we are and be tolerant and patient with our learning curve.
5. Make time for enlivening your soul
What brings you alive? What nourishes you at a deep level? Can you commit to providing time and space to find out and then allowing that to become a routine part of your life?