Grief: A Major Hidden Obstacle for New Years’ Resolutions

Grief is a major hidden block to moving forward
Moving forward and creating change in our lives is always challenging and New Year resolutions are no exception! There are many reasons for change to be difficult, but today I would like to focus on one that most of us never think about and therefore cannot address.

An often hidden, but major, stumbling block to change of any kind — let alone New Year resolutions– is that of “unattended losses” and the grief attached to them.  We all have them, but often do not even know they are there, or that they require some attention from us. And it can be added that the part of us that seeks pleasure and avoids pain would sooner that we leave well enough alone and move on! However, if we take this approach we are trading what may be a short term respite from discomfort for long term trouble.

The pockets of unattended grief referred to can be attached to small, medium and large losses. Red flags that may help us discover these hidden pockets are heightened reactions of or chronic patterns of stress, regret, sadness, unhappiness, disappointment, or worry.  Of course unattended grief may not be the only reason for these feelings but it is one to consider as they not only create inner disturbances, they also make it difficult to make clear intentions for change and have the required energy to stay with them.

Any grief, sorrow, sadness or anger that has not been brought through to completion continues to rock around in our unconscious blocking the full healthy flow of energy that fuels forward movement. Just as we need to empty a closet of the old to make space for the new, our inner world needs to be cleared, pruned or aired out regularly.

Taking time to look over the past year and identifying any losses can help you get in touch with grief that may need to be processed before moving forward into the new year. It is time well spent to remove this hidden obstacle from the changes you wish to make in 2017.

Next post: How to let go of unattended losses

 

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