The Hidden Problem With Positivity

Recently I saw a question on Facebook that asked why a person got more response from people when she posted about “negative” feelings VS her generally upbeat positive posts. The answers to that question were varied largely depending on the life perspective of the person commenting… in my opinion.

My suspicion/answer to her question is that people are fundamentally compassionate and respond to another’s pain however great/small, real or imagined. Another aspect that I believe is in play is that people sense and respond to another’s authenticity. Through acknowledging where we truly are emotionally we each can give permission to others to own all their feelings… not just the positive.

In an attempt to help people move from too much negativity unfortunately we may have created a climate where it is not OK to have normal human emotion. While it is true that the brain tends to focus on the negative in an attempt to keep us safe (centuries of conditioned response) and we need to counter its natural tendency, it is also true that we are human and wired neurologically to feel.

From my perspective there is a stridency to some of the “culture of positivity” that denies our vulnerability and some very real aspects of our nature that need to be owned, even embraced to live fully.

This is not an argument for dwelling on the negative or for staying mired in maudlin sensibilities, but simply an acknowledgment of the importance of embracing every facet of our humanity and learning how to navigate it well.

Using concepts of spirituality and positivity to deny our less desirable or painful feelings can only lead to trouble for our mental, emotional, spiritual and physical health not to mention making our relationships less authentic and more conflict ridden. It also leads to a painful sense of isolation, being a fraud and feeling inadequate…all because we are simply human!

We are spiritual beings in a physical vehicle, here to learn, grow, experience and enjoy. We can only do those things if we are in touch with all our parts and know how to speak the language of our interior and have skills to move fluidly through all that we encounter.