Self talk, what you are saying to yourself day in and day out in your mind has a profound effect on your self esteem, personal interactions, ability to feel happiness not to mention your health. Is your self talk kind, thoughtful, helpful? Does it contribute toward strength and confidence to get you where you say you want your life to go?
For many of us our inner conversation is quite unconscious and not so very kind. Thoughts, words and feelings carry energy and help shape our lives and world. We need to turn up the volume and be aware of what is happening inside. We need to become our own detective and discover the culprits that may be helping to keep us prisoners of what we do not want.
“Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind.”
We can become our own detective and bring a curious mind to the conversation going on in our heads. Exploring our self talk non-judgmentally provides a way toward Self Mastery. This type of exploration naturally leads to a life view that allows for a broader definition of who we really are. It also is a means to begin to embody personal power and to be open to higher possibilities for ourselves.
How to begin to explore self talk
We begin with a willingness to observe ourselves. This may be difficult at first if we are overly identified with our thoughts, feelings and physical sensations (most of us are!).
A meditation practice can be particularly helpful to begin to make a distinction between mental, emotional and physical energies in order to better grasp what is needed to untie the knots within our systems. In addition, we can simply start to notice how we describe our experiences the words and phrase we use to express how we feel.
For instance, do you ever find yourself saying or feeling any of the following?
- I feel like I am always running to catch up. (With yourself, life, others)
- I feel drained, empty, depleted, like I am out of gas.
- I feel so stressed, burned out.
- I am beside myself. (In general, or with a feeling E.G. fear, anger, jealousy)
- I feel so scattered, fragmented, all over the place.
- I feel so overwhelmed.
- My heart is breaking; is broken.
- I feel knifed in the back; sucker punched.
Our words may be describing how we feel but used unconsciously with no awareness that we can shift they can keep us stuck in old energetic patterns. Our unconsciousness keeps us locked into loops of negative self talk.
Everything we experience has an energetic reality. If we look at things from this perspective, we have more options for clearing our issues and resolution. Not only that but energetic methods go to the source, the bottom line beyond our words, stories and confusion and so tend to be more targeted, effective and permanent.
Here are a few examples of how energy is connected to experience:
- Our energy fields can be projected way out ahead of us making us feel like we have to catch up with it. Our energy belongs inside us where it can perfuse our physical bodies, inform our feelings and help us think clearly. When our energy is habitually projected outward, blocked by old repetitive, unresolved feelings and beliefs or not aligned in strong, healthy ways, we are more susceptible to illness as well as difficulties in other aspects of our lives.
- When our energy supplies are low we feel drained, depleted, like we have no fuel to go on. We are more prone to negative self talk when our energy is low. The solution is to learn how to build, replenish and maintain energy. We must look to where and how our energy is leached out of us and make corrections to stop the drain. This is important beyond simple awareness about patterns. Energy is our basic life force and underlies our mental, emotional and physical health.
- Being scattered is exactly that. You are sending your energy in so many directions that it is not with you with the result that you are not able to think, feel or perform at your best.
- Everything is energy including thoughts, words, deeds and intentions. If someone speaks harshly or abusively, you feel it. Think about a time when you felt that someone had slung an arrow of insult toward you, or put you down or gave you a mixed message. You have an experience of that energetically–you feel it. We hurt when harshness is sent our way. When we get mixed messages we feel confused or frustrated. In the latter case we feel the disconnect between the intent and words. This makes it difficult to understand, be clear or respond in an honest way. Instead of flowing our energy, it goes into stop and we feel frustrated, stuck and bound up.
Working at an energetic level moves us beyond words and self talk to the source of our trouble—scattered, depleted stores of vitality, discordant energy, and lack of inner resources. It helps to repair and heal us from the inside out with more grace and elegance than our poor beleaguered ego mind can ever accomplish!
In a very deep way going to the level of energy is sourcing consciousness itself. In this way we engage our higher level capacities to not only clean our inner closets, but also to connect and open up a space to live from that holds more love, freedom, ease, and inner peace even in the midst of challenges.
Developing a simple practice of centering and grounding coupled with knowledge of how to flow your energy can go a long way to help eliminate negative self talk!