Personal Power Unblocked Through Grief
There are all sorts of reasons why personal power is difficult to source. Grief can be one way that our energy (our power) is blocked and therefore inaccessible. It is important for all of us to become introspective and assess where we stand vis a vis personal power and grief, but it may be even more crucial for caregivers given the environment within which they live and work.
In our western culture there is a tendency to associate grief with only death or other major losses. The truth is that we experience grief in many other circumstances over the course of a lifetime. We experience grief in large and small ways as we move on from a particular life stage, change jobs, leave relationships or places. Our current climate is a perfect example of a complex grief reaction. There are very real anguishing losses in terms of human life and suffering and there is also a massive upheaval in our way of life.
We commonly do not fully grieve losses especially those that may be less fully realized as we try to move forward with change. We may have the mistaken belief that time alone heals or if we ignore the feelings they will go away. They won’t. They will only be driven deep inside us only to cause problems later in ways that we will not recognize as being connected to our losses.
The opposite of ignoring our grief is to use it as an excuse to not move forward and hence an abdication of our personal power. Grief can be a great gift if in order to move beyond it we are honest with ourselves, own all our feelings, and give that energy of emotion a means to move through us. In doing so we discover strength, power and wisdom we may not have known we had. This process opens up inner space for new things to take root…among them more joy and happiness.
Opportunity to Heal Personal Power
If we are to honor ourselves deeply, we need to acknowledge all of our life experience without getting stuck in any one place. Life has plenty of challenges and conflicts but there are also deep cleansing opportunities that can help us to embody our power.
Right now a group of teenagers are showing us an example of managing trauma and grief in a positive way. They are not turning away from the reality of what happened. They are fully expressing their hurt, sadness and rage in healthy ways, talking, singing, marching, being with each other. They are receiving the gift of listening and validation of their experience from those in their environment that have the strength, courage and wisdom to remain present with them
. When traumatic experience is invalidated, put down, or minimized it adds to the trauma making it more difficult to heal. These young adults have the awareness that they have a right to all they feel and are not letting another’s incapacity or weakness block their healthy process. From what I see they are clear, honest and stand in a center of strength without succumbing to gas-lighting, manipulation or negativity And even as they are managing their grief they are channeling their energy into action for a cause they believe in.
True Personal Power Resides in Our Core
It is all too easy to overlook and not honor our essential nature on life’s journey especially when we are in the midst of a huge transition. Our whole world and everything in it is changing. We know where we have been, but not where we are going. Every facet of modern life is undergoing an unprecedented transformation. This transformation is often tumultuous and in many cases contains tragedy and suffering. The tumult, loss and uncertainty all fuel anxiety.
Tips on Managing Grief and Reclaiming Personal Power
One way to alleviate anxiety and stress is to look to the past and notice what has been learned, what skills have been developed, what strengths are being brought forward with you? Feel those strengths, own them.
Another aspect of this process is to be aware of what you feel/believe you are losing, grieve it and move on to envisioning how you may fill your needs in new and unique ways. In addition to those ways of attending to your own passage through challenging times, you can also ask yourself what is trying to be born in you. What have you not yet grown into that is being challenged to develop, to be brought to the light of day and be expressed in the world?
Listening deeply to your soul’s voice and aligning more fully with its energetic flow and tone not only helps to support and nourish you, it also helps you to know where and how to put your feet on a new path and move more in the direction of the best possible expression of you in the world. Coincidentally this is what most helps others!!
Grief is a normal part of our human experience. It can be portal to the soul and to a more whole life experience. Whether your transition is large or small, it is important to give grief your attention, respect and a process for completion. Done properly, grieving is healthy. As you experience it know that you are OK. Allow yourself to feel the disappointment, sadness, despair and loss. Then use a ritual of some kind to let it go and free yourself to move on.
We are meant to grieve, but not forever! The real gift of grief may be its ability to return you to a more whole, bright, light existence. Grief can open the dark, constricted and conflicted places and open up your capacity to hold a more soulful, enlivened and life enhancing presence.
For more on managing grief:http://karenkallie.com/grief-and-self-care/
- Coping With Grief: How to Handle Your Emotions (everydayhealth.com)