Judgement and Letting Go of Regrets
Regrets are about something that is missing in our lives: a missed opportunity, something that we feel could have been, feelings of “if only” “if only I had been there,” “if only I had done this,” “if only I had said something” and so on. Regrets are a yearning type of energy yearning for something that is not there or yearning for something that once was or will never be. Regrets are about the past.
Spiritual teachers for centuries have reminded us that the only thing that is real is the present moment. The past is just a memory and the future hasn’t happened yet. The only time that is real is the present.
When one is fully present, there is no past or future. There is only the “now.” Therefore, when you are fully present, there can be no regret; there is no room for it, it doesn’t exist. If you bring love to any situation, you will be fully present. When you are in a state of unconditional love, you accept things as they are and without judgment. Then there can be no regret.
It may be helpful to notice and list what you feel regret about and then consciously work with releasing your feelings of loss, anger or sadness around the regret.It then becomes easier to move into the present with love and acceptance.
We judge ourselves, other people and situations daily. We pass everything through our own experiences and filters. We need to have an ability to know if something is good for us, dangerous, destructive and so forth. However, this is one of those normal human capabilities that has run amok.
We say that things are good/bad, right/wrong, beautiful/ugly. We do the same with people: we look at someone and size them up –they are beautiful, they are ugly, they are fat, they are skinny, they are good, they are bad, they are right, they are wrong. Each time we do this, we do so through our own filters, experience and perspective. Also we often are measuring ourselves even if subtly. As they say, this can go nowhere good!
Any given situation or person can be and is seen from multiple perspectives. Judgement typically brings something closer to us or pushes it away. We are never accepting it as it is and appreciating it in the present. Judgment is about each person doing the judging. Notice how and when you judge others. What do you think this is about for you?